


The Sacredness of Tears

by enigmaticblue



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Season/Series 03B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2562806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, all Scott had to worry about was making first line. He misses those days, especially now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sacredness of Tears

**Author's Note:**

  * For [liliaeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liliaeth/gifts).



> Written for liliaeth, who asked for Teen Wolf and Scott (and possibly Melissa). I feel like we needed a little more grieving than we got on screen in between 3B and 4. If you've seen 3B, you know which character death I'm warning for.

_“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”_ ~Washington Irving

 

Scott had believed that he’d grieved the end of his relationship with Allison, that he had accepted losing her, at least for now.

 

 _This_ is different. _This_ is never seeing her again. _This_ is the knowledge that Allison isn’t out there somewhere. Scott could have lived with never seeing her again, if only she’d been alive. All he’d wanted was for her to be happy.

 

And that’s never going to happen.

 

He pulls away from his mom and tries to wipe his eyes, but the tears keep leaking out. “I’m okay.”

 

“No, you’re not,” she replies. “But you will be.”

 

Scott presses the heels of his hands against his eyes to stem the tears, and is unsuccessful.

 

“Sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with crying,” she assures him.

 

“I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing,” Scott admits.

 

His mom cups his cheek. “You know, when you were little, I always knew what to do for you. I’d put on a band aid, kiss it better, and maybe make chicken and stars.”

 

“I’m not five anymore, Mom,” Scott replies, although he appreciates the sentiment. He wishes he were five again, when a band aid and a kiss and a bowl of Campbell’s was enough to cure any problem.

 

She smiles sadly. “I know.”

 

Scott wishes he could make his mom feel better, although she’d known Allison, too. His mom is the sort of person who would grieve Allison’s loss, because his mom had known her.

 

“I’m okay,” Scott insists, trying for a smile.

 

His mom puts her hands on either side of his face, staring deep into his eyes, like when she’s either imparting wisdom or trying to figure out if he’s lying.

 

In this case, Scott has to admit that it’s probably both.

 

Scott finds that he can’t speak around the lump in his throat.

 

“With all you’ve seen, with everything that’s happened, it’s okay if you’re _not_ okay,” Melissa says. “In fact, I’d worry about you if you were. You don’t have to be strong, not in front of me. I thought you knew that.”

 

Scott sniffs, and swallows hard. “I know that.”

 

“I know you do,” Melissa agrees. “But this kind of grief doesn’t pass in a day or two, or even in a year or two. You loved her, Scott. Her loss is going to leave a hole.”

 

Scott chokes out a laugh. “Mom, I feel like all of me is a hole.”

 

“I know,” she says. “And while I realize that chicken and stars isn’t going to cut it, is there anything you want to eat?”

 

Scott hesitates. “Tacos?”

 

“With guacamole?” Melissa asks. “I stocked up on avocados.”

 

Guacamole actually makes him think of Kira, and the aborted attempt at sushi, where Scott had wound up with a mouthful of wasabi. He and Allison had never had tacos together; his mom had never made her famous guacamole for Allison.

 

“Yeah,” Scott says. “I’d like that. Can I help?”

 

“Do you want to invite anybody else over for dinner?” his mom asks.

 

Scott shakes his head. He’s feeling too raw for that. Isaac is sticking close to Chris Argent for right now, and Stiles is still recovering from being possessed by the nogitsune. He’s not ready to see Kira, and Derek isn’t exactly the kind of guy Scott invites over for dinner.

 

Right now, Scott just wants his mom.

 

“Okay,” his mom says with a smile. “Good thing, because I’d have to send you out to the store for more supplies if we were going to have company. And yes, you can help.”

 

His mom uses the grill pan to cook the flank steak on the stove, tossing the veggies in another pan. Scott makes the guacamole and pico de gallo under her watchful eye.  Scott would never claim to be a cook, but with his mom, things are different.

 

“Taste it and see,” she suggests, when Scott asks if the guacamole is good.

 

Scott dips a finger into the mixture. “Um, maybe more salt?”

 

“It’s up to you,” she replies. “Add what you want. It’s _your_ guac. Experiment.”

 

Scott kind of loses himself in making the additions. He adds more salt to the guacamole, and a sprinkle of cumin, and he’s free with the lime juice in the pico de gallo.

 

After all the craziness of the last few weeks, the fear they were going to lose Stiles, the pain of losing Allison—this feels good. Scott feels like himself again, if only for a brief moment, helping his mom with dinner.

 

“Your dad is probably going to be around more often,” she says just as Scott bites into his first taco

 

Scott grimaces. “Great.”

 

“He wants to have a relationship with you,” his mom replies.

 

Another day, Scott probably would have said no way, and shut down any idea of a relationship with his dad. But he’s just lost Allison, and there’s a part of Scott that’s missed him. He doesn’t want another loss right now. “Okay, but I’m not telling him about the supernatural stuff.”

 

“Probably for the best,” she agrees. “My lips are certainly sealed.”

 

Tacos can only do so much, and when Scott finishes his dinner, he shoves his plate to one side. “Mom, I have no idea how to do this.”

 

She reaches across the table to grab his hand. “You are one of the strongest, bravest people I know, Scott. You’re going to get through this, too, just like you’ve gotten through everything else.”

 

“What if something I do causes another person to die?” Scott asks.

 

His mom squeezes his hand again. “You didn’t cause Allison’s death. You might make some terrible decisions, because you’re human, and that’s what humans do. Don’t take on more guilt than is yours to bear.”

 

Scott doesn’t know that he’ll ever get over the sense of responsibility he feels for Allison’s death, and maybe it’s right that he doesn’t.

 

He knows what it’s like to lose someone now, and Scott is going to do everything he can to not lose anyone again.

 

Scott’s the alpha now, and he’ll keep his pack safe.


End file.
